Well, then it happened
Well, I am sad to relate
While he’s eating SpaghettiOs, this girl’s – uh, Chinese plate
He drooled and he slobbered over the design
As down in his mouth dribbled three-month-old port wine
Nineteen dollars a quart, gift from his mother – oh!
When this song was recorded in 1965, SpaghettiOs (yes that is the official trademarked name) were a brand-new product. Says Wikipedia:
Ring-shaped canned pasta was introduced in 1965 by the Campbell Soup Company under the Franco-American brand, by marketing manager Donald Goerke, nicknamed “the Daddy-O of SpaghettiOs,” as a pasta dish that could be eaten without mess. Other shapes considered included cowboys, Native Americans, astronauts, stars, and sports-themed shapes.
It was a true triumph of all-American marketing ingenuity: Posit a problem that’s not really a problem (spaghetti is so messy!), put something bland in a can, add high-fructose corn syrup and a catchy slogan, and hey presto — you’ve got a license to print money.
Three-month-old port seems like the perfect pairing for SpaghettiOs, though $19 a quart seems pretty steep, especially in 1965. (His mother overpaid, I guess.) Put it all together and we get a pretty vivid, if still a little vague, picture: Our Hero drooling and slobbering, dribbling port, shoveling SpaghettiOs into his gaping maw.
I guess if I were really committed, I’d have port and SpaghettiOs tonight. Instead, I think it will be Bordeaux and leftover pizza. Close enough?
I wonder what the Q Anon folks would think of that Spaghettios ad. I found it positively chock full of satanic subtexts.
what’s with the Chinese plate? refers to china or something else?
I was wondering about that too. I keep thinking of the Monty Python bit about the “Chinese box.”